Captain's log
by darkdancer
Summary: The Captain's Log of Captain Jack Sparrow. What else do you need to say?No pairing. It's PG-13, but it's Jack so what do you expect? All spelling and grammer mistakes are intentional. (He's a pirate! not a scribe)
1. Default Chapter

Captain's Log:

Don't know why I'm still writing this bloody thing. No ship, the one I borrowed from AnnaMaria..... had flotation problems. It sank. Stole from corupt tax collector. So easy. Had fun bamboozeling (luv that word) some really STUPID lobsters.about a ship called the Intercepter. Nice ship, want it. One problem. Am in jail. Did something stupid. Saved rich girl from drowning. Her over eager suitor (here boy, wanna bone?) Clapped me in irons. Stupid pirate brand. Watching pirates next door try to tempt key dog with bone. Almost as stupid as lobsters. Had fun fight with rich girl's _other_ over eager suitor (she must collect 'em)during failed escape attempt. Blacksmith fellow. Pretty scrawny for a blacksmith. Too damn good. Practises with swords 3 hours a day. Pitiful. Told him he needed a girl. Sexual frustration's bad for you. Give me a prostitute any day. (Please?) Silly boy thought I'd fight fair. (Hello, Pirate!) Miss me hat. Stupid guards took it with the rest of me stuff.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Saw old (mutenous) crew, they're cursed. Undead or something. Turn into skeletons. Ha Ha. Downside, still locked in cell. Noisy, they're attacking the harbor. Scared key away. Damn. Trying to pick lock. Could really use some nice rum right now. Write more later.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Hey guess what? Over Eager Suitor # 2 is Bootstrap Bill's kid. Shoulda known. They look alike. Liked Bootstrap better. Kid's too hot headed. And obsessed. Bet he's a virgin. C'mon, how much will ya bet me? Alright, alright. Useful though. The kid. Broke me outta jail. Literally. He built the door and knew how to break it. (Damn blacksmiths) Wants me help in saving the Girl. Again. I saved her from drowning. You'd think that would be enough. But nooooo. Now I have to save her from Barbosa. This girl's future doesn't look promising if this trend continues. Kid thinks Barbosa wants her cause she's the govener's daughter. Stupid. She probably gave them another name. Probably his, which is why they want her. They think she's Bootstrap's kid. Bad luck that. But shows where the brains lie in this pair. This kid's too selfless for his own good. Good for me though. He's just what I need to get my revenge on Barbosa. Leverage you see. They need him to break the curse. Ha Ha. At least I got me hat back.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Got to steal the Interceptor! The kid and I comandeered the Dauntless. Silly commodore (Over Eager Suitor # 1) came up alongside in Interceptor. They boarded us. We boarded them. Fun! Left them in our wake. HA HA! It's Mine! Now all I need is a crew. Kid is very annoying. Tempted to throw him overboard. But need him. Until curse is broken and I have my Black Pearl back. (Like Interceptor, but it's no match for my Pearl) Plus he's obsessed with girl. And _not_ being a pirate. Silly. Gonna visit Gibbs, see if I can get meself a crew.

Ship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  


Captain's Log:

Got crew. Got slapped by three girls. Not sure if I deserved them all. Anna Maria part of crew. Ticked off at loss of her ship. Can have it back. She'll have to swim for it though. Won't tell her that. Might hit me again. Goin' after me lovely pearl. Notice Will giving me odd looks. Think he's jealous of me hat. Busy. Write later. 

Ship :)

  



	2. the rest of it

Captain's Log:

Damn that kid. All I asked was that he stay out of the way and not do anything stupid. So what does he do? Something stupid. He hit me in the back of the head. That hurt dammit! I don't know what the idiot did, but I woke up faced with me old crew, the boy and his bonnie lass were gone, I had a headache I wouldn't wish on Barbosa. Who am I kidding? Yes I would. With a little help from one of the crew I managed to ask for a parley. (I couldn't think of the word. Damn the french and their weird language) They weren't happy. Wonder why they got so upset. Now all I have to do is convince Barbosa to do as I say. Fun. To top it all off, I seem to have left me hat on the Interceptor. Bet Will stole it.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

My attempts to persuade Barbosa to make a deal were less than successful. So now I'm in the brig of me own ship. They haven't been taking proper care of her. Small leak, am up to ankles in sea water. More later

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

My ship! They're hurting my ship! Stop firing you blackgaurds! You're hurting my love A fork just flew past my face. Must've run out of cannon balls. Hah! My luck has turned. A flask. Finally some rum! Damn, it's empty! Gah! There's a hole in my ship! Ah well, at least I can get out of here.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Gave Gibbs back his flask. Not looking so good right now. Almost got the coin. But the damned monkey beat me to it. Found out the monkey's name is Jack. That explains it. We Jacks are naturally quicker and smarter than others. Am slightly touched that Barbosa named his monkey after me (kinda insulted too, could go either way) but that's dimminished by the fact that I'm now his prisoner. Again.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Damn!Damn!Damn! I knew it! I knew that romantic idiot would do something like this. He told Barbosa who he was and turned himself over with the agreement that 'Elizabeth goes free' and 'the crew isn't to be harmed'. Not a word about me. After all I've done for the whelp! And what stupid wording. What does he think Barbossa's gonna do? Drop Elizabeth off at some classy port? Ha. Done Ranting. Must go, time to learn me fate. If I don't make it Gibbs gets me hat. Wherever it is.

No Ship

  
  


Captain's Log:

Hmm, been here before. Back on the island they marooned me on last time. At least I've got company. The lovely Elizabeth. But even better, there's rum left. No rum runners, unfortunately. But plenty of rum! Tonight's plan. Get Drunk. Get girl drunk. Have fun. Make the kid horribly jealous. A pirate has to have some hobby. Now, if you'll escuse me, there's rum waiting.

No Ship

  
  


Captain's Log:

Plan backfired. Girl got me drunk, lit rum on fire as signal for Over Eager Sutior# 1. Waste of good rum. And to top it all off it worked. Commadore Puppy showed up to rescue the Damsel in Distress and I got slapped in irons. Again. However, on the plus side, girl convinced Commadore Puppy to go after the Black Pearl. Promised to marry him. Can't wait to tell Will. Have plan to fix both Commadore and Barbosa. Write later.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Plan worked! Mostly. Convinced Commadore to let me go in and lure them out. Got there just as they were going to sacrafice the kid.Glad. Annoying as he is, he's grown on me. Plus I want me hat back, and I think he knows where it is. Warned Barbosa about Commadore Puppy's arrival. Convinced him to send crew out after him before removing the curse. Stole gold piece. Freed Will, fought Barbosa. He was pissed when he found out I was immortal too. Kinda fun. Interesting being a skeleton. But, cut hand, bled on coin, tossed it to Will, he did same thing, curse lifted, got to shoot Barbosa. Am now happy. All I need is some rum, a woman, and a ship, and I'll be in heaven.Oh, and my hat back of course.Will is evading my questions about it. Very suspicous.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Bad side effect of brilliant plan. Am in jail again. Going to be hanged. Crew abandoned me. To be expected. It's the code. Still. Annoying. Going to die and I still don't know what happened to me hat.

No Ship

  


Captain's Log:

Will wonders never cease. Will saved me. Quite a good rescue too. Got cornered by Commodore Puppy's goons. Will very loyal. Surprised. Girl joined us, declaring love for Will. Not Surprised. Saw Coddle's parrot. Realized plan. Was going to jump over edge. Fell. Swam to Black Pearl. Am Captain of it. Must ask Gibbs if he has information about me hat. Going to miss Will. Annoying whelp. Would've made a good pirate. Cute too.

Ship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Black Pearl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  



End file.
